There’s no shortage of self-help gurus who swear that repeating positive affirmations over oneself can change one’s life and by doing so their fears would instantly disappear. Now don’t get me wrong or miss the message, I believe in speaking truths over myself and I also believe that positive affirmations will build my confidence muscles but that alone is not enough to fully renovate my mindset. Ok, practically speaking if you were to solely to proclaim positive statements for 5, 10 or even 20 minutes a day over oneself yet the remaining 23 hours of the day you focused on your shortcomings, negative thoughts, feelings of inadequacy, bitterness or even anger you would not have enough positive credits in your bank to offset the negative debits. Ok, let me speak to the more black and white thinkers, do the math if you spend 20 minutes a day speaking words of affirmation over your life and the remaining 23 hours and 40 minutes focused on the negative, there is no way your mindset will shift to the positive. I think I hit the nail hard enough that time. There’s an old saying that goes, “If all you ever do is all you’ve ever done, then all you’ll ever get, is all you ever got!”
So let’s be a little more transparent. I am an avid HGTV watcher and one thing I know for sure on all of the fixer upper shows, if the designer only changed the pillows on the accent coach and did nothing else to the 3000 square foot home’s interior the seller would totally look at them crazy. Or better yet, if you listed this home as total renovation and the only thing changed out was one bathroom but the rest of the décor looked like you walked backed into 1972, then you can’t consider this a full renovation or demo. Ok, I know you are probably wondering, get to the point Kara!
During the height of the pandemic in 2020, the home improvement industry reached a record high with over 400 billion dollars in revenues and that was only in the US! And I can say the Barkers made our small contribution to this spend by removing the carpet flooring out of our owner’s suite and replace with wood floors. Although our owner’s suite looked better than before, we can’t say it was a room makeover.
But let’s move away from the home and unpack the concept of flipping one’s mindset. Recently, I came across this statistic from the National Science Foundation, and it said the average person has about 12,000-60,000 thoughts that go through one’s mind each day and of those thoughts 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive thoughts. Whoa…..take a pause on that statement, over 80% are negative thoughts and 95% or repetitive thoughts!
But let’s pivot real quick back to HGTV, yes I told you I love this channel! So when I began to think about negative thinking, and overhauling my mindset, I immediately thought about my favorite show on the network Love It or List It.
On Love it or List it, 90% of the time the couple ends up staying in their newly renovated home instead of finding something new. Over the course of my marriage we have built 3 homes and one custom home. When I think about our custom home in Missouri it was close to being our dream forever home but the process was not easy. We literally had to find the land, design the home with the builder and pick out everything and when I mean pick out everything, we literally chose the color of the grout for the tile. I enjoyed the process, but Mr. Barker not so much. When you are renovating a home or even starting a new exercise plan it is an investment.
From a biblical perspective, when God renovates us, He repairs our broken relationships, fixes our broken hearts, replaces dysfunctional mindsets, reinforces good behavior and renews and refreshes our lives. He doesn’t just fix one part, if we give Him access, he will go all in and do a complete “gut job”!
So let’s get out the blueprint and really map out our next renovation.
Here are 6 tools that I have used to help me flip my mindset that may be useful for you as well.
- Flip the switch and fix your thoughts on God. There are so many things that captures our attention every minute of the day and before you know it you forget your foundation or source. So stay focused!
- Practicing self-care. Self-care is not selfish! I will say that over and over until you get it! 🙂 And self-care is not solely focused on your physical well- being but also your mind and soul health.
- Surround yourself with positive-minded people. Positivity and negativity are both contagious. Negative people are so draining and quite exhausting. Weed out the Negative Nancy’s and Debbie Downers, they are killing your vibe!
- Practice the rule of “Three Good Things” At the end of each day, reflect on three good things that happened, large or small. This helps decrease anxiety, counter depression and build emotional resiliency. I love this and believe me if you are still living and breathing that technically counts for 2 of the three things. 😃
- De-clutter your morning routine or plan. Every morning start with positive vibes, prayer, meditation, journaling. Start your day with a half full mentality. Don’t pick up your cell phone as your first thing in the morning. The social media scroll is not always healthy!
- Incorporate consistent self talk. Research shows that asking ourselves questions rather than issuing commands is a much more effective way to create change. It’s as simple as tweaking the way you speak to yourself.
Now that your mindset it flipped, let me add some finishing touches or staging.
- Show yourself a little grace, things are not going to be perfect all the time so don’t dwell and on your mistakes. Learn from them and keep it pushing.
- Place Post-It notes with positive quotes on your computer, desk, refrigerator, bathroom mirror or even in your car to serve as a reminder to stay positive.
- Don’t solely focused on your present circumstances but rather focus on the future possibilities that can lead to new opportunities.
- Accept Christ in your life or recommit to walking with Christ. This is like applying a brand new fresh coat of luxury paint over a dark and dim wall in a room. Once you add primer, you can take any dark room to a fresh and bright new palette.
Lastly, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author:
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Colossians 3:2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.