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Microappreciations

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What did you do when it really mattered?


This past week, I addressed a group of women involved in impactful work, urging them to think about what I call “microappreciations,” particularly in workplace settings. What does that mean? It involves offering private praise while staying silent in public, especially when someone is standing alone.

Picture this: you’re in a meeting and offer a well-considered challenge to an idea, being the only one to voice your opinion. Later, someone approaches you and says they were glad you spoke up, but they didn’t support you publicly at the time.
It can be disheartening, right? It feels like they agreed with you but left you isolated.

This experience can contribute to feelings of imposter syndrome; if others don’t support you when it counts, it can make you question your value and reliability.


So, let’s aim for fewer instances of these microappreciations and more public support for those we agree with. It could help create a more trusting environment and lessen feelings of imposter syndrome for everyone involve

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I’m with HER. 🇺🇸

Kamala Harris is not just the right choice, she is the only choice for President of the United States. She is a fierce and determined leader who has dedicated her entire career to fighting for justice and equality for all Americans. As the first woman of color to be nominated for Vice President on a major party ticket, Kamala represents a groundbreaking moment in our nation’s history and a powerful symbol of hope for marginalized communities everywhere.

With her background as a prosecutor, Attorney General of California, and United States Senator, Kamala has the experience and expertise needed to tackle the complex issues facing our country today. From criminal justice reform to healthcare to climate change, she has consistently stood up to powerful interests and fought for the rights of those who have been overlooked or oppressed.

Kamala’s policy proposals are bold and progressive, reflecting her unwavering commitment to creating a more just and equitable society. She supports Medicare for All, criminal justice reform, and comprehensive immigration reform. In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, she has put forward a plan to provide much-needed relief to families, small businesses, and communities struggling to survive in these challenging times.

Unlike her opponent, Kamala is a unifier who seeks to bridge the divides that have torn our country apart. She is known for her ability to build consensus and work across party lines to find solutions that benefit all Americans. Her leadership style is inclusive and collaborative, making her the perfect candidate to lead our nation towards a brighter and more united future.

Kamala Harris embodies the values of empathy, compassion, and integrity that we so desperately need in a leader. She is a trailblazer who will inspire generations of women and people of color to dream big and fight for a better world. I am proud to stand with Kamala and support her in her historic journey to the presidency. She is not just the right choice, but the only choice for a future where all Americans can thrive and succeed together!

Lazy Career Feedback!

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BEWARE of feedback like this!☠️

  • You need to be more ‘strategic’
  • Show me you’re ‘innovative’
  • I want to see more ‘leadership’
  • You need better ‘executive presence’

All of this may be true, but as feedback it’s useless.

Executive presence is 100% learnable

If you know me, you know I can’t stand feedback like, ‘You need better executive presence”.

It’s vague.

It’s lazy.

And it doesn’t provide you with actionable steps to getting better.

So many women I’ve spoken with have received this feedback when being told why they aren’t in senior leadership yet.

And honestly, it’s total BS.

That’s the bad news. But here’s the good news.

I have cracked the code on executive presence. And it’s totally learnable stuff.

It’s NOT some special superpower that you either have or don’t have.

And it’s absolutely something you can develop.

In order to be effective, feedback needs to be specific and actionable.

I would have no idea what action to take from the feedback above. I’ve been there, and it’s beyond frustrating when on the receiving end.

The truth is that many leaders don’t know how to give you actionable steps to project better leadership or to showcase that you’re strategic or innovative

So what can you do?

If you’re a leader, put the effort into creating specific and actionable outcomes that you want to see.

And if you’re receiving feedback like this, ask for some specific examples of how you can demonstrate these qualities.

Find out exactly what your boss would want to see from you in order to say, “She’s innovative” or “She’s a leader”.

Then, in your future meetings, bring examples of how you’re demonstrating these behaviors, and confirm that it’s what they want to see.

And if your boss can’t give you these specific examples, consider looking outside your organization for help.

Remember, it’s your career. You have the most to gain by investing in your own development. ✌️💜

It’s A Root Issue

You net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. – Benjamin Franklin

The problem with how we attack our problems is that we go after the problem. We focus solely on the behavior by making a commitment to start or stop doing something.

You’ve done this too, right? You’ve decided, perhaps even declared, that you were going to change.

  • This year I’m going to eat healthily and exercise every day!
  • I’m going to stop dating anyone who is mean to me. In fact, I’m not going to date at all!
  • I’m tired of wasting my time on social media and comparing my life with everyone else’s. I’m getting off for good this time!
  • I’m not going to exaggerate or lie or gossip to get attention or feel better about myself. No more! 
  • I’m going to read the Bible every morning this whole year!

Whatever your vow was, how did it go?

I would guess not well. Why?

Behavior modification doesn’t work, because the focus is only on modifying behavior. You don’t get to the root of the problem, which is the thought that produces the behavior.

This summer I planted a new Japanese maple tree. Well this is probably my fifth one I have planted over the years and they always die! 😵 But say you have there’s an ugly tree in your yard. You want that tree gone. Finally, you decide the time has come to take care of the problem. So you march into your yard with a small handsaw. You pick an ugly branch and cut it off the tree. You smile and walk back into the house, triumphantly singing a medley of “All I Do Is Win” The next day you are shocked to see that the tree is still standing strong.

I know. The analogy is absurd. You would never try to kill a tree by just removing a branch. Because the branch obviously isn’t the problem. The tree is the problem. Actually, the root system of the tree is the main culprit. If you don’t remove the root system when you cut down the tree, it could still grow back.

Well, if we decide, I’m going to stop yelling at my kids or I’m going to stop isolating myself andliving a lonely life or I’m going to exercise every day, we’re just sawing off a branch. We are ignoring the real problem of the lie we believe and the mental rut we fall into. Attacking only symptoms, not the source.

Thinking I can change a behavior just by removing the behavior is absurd. The behavior isn’t the root problem. The neural pathway that leads me to the behavior is the problem. If I stop a behavior, it will come back, unless I

  1. remove the lie at the root of the behavior, and
  2. replace the neural pathway that leads me to the behavior.

Where will we get these new thoughts? Hint: we won’t get them from scrolling through social media posts, listening to our favorite playlist, or phoning a friend for their opinion. 

To stop the lies and replace them with truth, we need to look to God’s Word

Affirm Yourself Sis!

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Affirmations are a self-help strategy used to promote self-confidence and belief in your own abilities. 

You’ve probably affirmed yourself without even realizing it by telling yourself things like:

  • “All I can do is my best.”
  • “I’ve got what it takes.”
  • “I believe in my ability to succeed.” 

These simple statements help shift your focus away from perceived failures or inadequacies and direct your focus toward your strengths — those you already have and those you

want to develop. 

But do they actually work? Kind of. 

Affirmations generally work as a tool for shifting your mindset and achieving your goals, but they’re not a magic bullet for instant success or healing.

For example, you might replace a negative or anxious thought, like:

  • “I’m so terrible at interviews. I’m probably not even as qualified as the other candidates. There’s no way they’ll hire me, I should just leave.” 

With a positive affirmation:

  • “I have all the necessary skills and experience, and I’m the perfect candidate for this job.”

Using affirmations may help you feel more relaxed before your interview, and knowing you’re fully prepared can also help you avoid self-sabotaging thoughts or behaviorspotentially interfering with your success.

Remember, action is key

Repeating an affirmation can help boost your motivation and confidence, but you still have to take some action yourself. Try thinking of affirmations as a step toward change, not the change itself. 

Consider that nosy co-worker who always asks questions about your personal life. You don’t want to say anything to offend, but you also have no intention of answering their questions.

An affirmation like “I can remain calm even when I feel annoyed” might guide you to a habit of deep breathing or grounding exercises when you start to feel your blood boil. 

These tactics, combined with your affirmations, help you get through the stressful moment until you can politely make an escape. 

The affirmation didn’t make the change, you did. But it did offer a starting point. 

Sunflowers 🌻

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I’ve always loved flowers. During the summer I am drawn to sunflowers. I love their big, bright petals but what really draws me to the flowers is their story. I learned as a child that sunflowers grow towards the sun. Even on cloudy days sunflowers will find the tiniest ray of sunlight peeking through the clouds and turn towards it. Instead of focusing on all the darkness, the sunflower seeks out that little light and faces it. It may not surprise you that sunflowers have somewhat of a thing for the sun. Even at night they’re hankering for the light, turning their faces back east in the dark so they’ll be ready to catch the first rays the moment dawn breaks. Sunflowers flourish when they are facing the sun. Isn’t that just like us? When we are facing Jesus’ light we are able to prosper and grow. Jesus said in John 8:12 “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” Just like sunflowers, when we pray we are opening up from darkness into the light. Light reveals us to ourselves, which is not always so great if you find yourself in a big mess, possibly your own creation. But like sunflowers we turn toward light. Light warms and in most cases it draws us to itself. And in this light, we can see beyond shadow and illusion to something beyond our modest receptors, do what is truly deep down inside of us. 

Today, let’s turn our backs on the darkness and face the brightness of Jesus’ light. If you’re going through a dark period in your life, know that God will be your ray of sunshine shining through the clouds that you need to turn your face towards healing, hope and grace.

I hope the next time you see a sunflower you’re reminded that when you turn your face toward the SON, you will receive the light you need to brighten your day and circumstances.   
excerpt from Breakthroughs and Bless You’s by Kara Barker.

order your copy today!

Adjust Your Focus, Change Your Perspective!

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What are you focusing on today? Are you focusing on your situation, or on God’s promises? You may have all kinds of problems coming at you. Maybe you’re feeling discouraged as new problems and challenges have popped up in your life. I have an iPhone and there is a new setting that allows you to take pictures in portrait mode. This feature allows you to focus on the object of interest and somewhat blur the other surrounding areas. When someone asks what they should do to ensure the power of God continues to work in their lives for unending peace and prosperity, I give them a simple answer: focus your mind on the Lord the same way you focus your camera lens on an object to get a clear image. When your mind (thoughts, emotions, and attention) is focused on God’s Word, you’re guaranteed to always walk in peace and prosperity. Your mind is a powerful tool given to you by God for transforming your life from glory to glory. If you’d give the right attention to the word of God, it doesn’t matter the storms that come against you, you’ll be at rest because the Lord Himself keeps you in “perfect peace.”

The Hebrew word for “peace” in Isaiah 26:3 is “shalom,” which describes the “rest” of God, wherein is prosperity, health, strength, and salvation. This means that you can be as prosperous, successful and healthy as you want to be if you yield your mind to God’s Word. But if we lose our focus, we are susceptible to the darkness. If you’re currently walking in spiritual darkness, I encourage you to shift your focus.
Focus your eyes on Jesus and His glory. The Word of God is your secret to a miraculous and supernatural life. So keep your focus on God’s Word and divine peace and prosperity will be your continuous experience. Don’t let it get you down. Don’t let it take your focus off of God.

Prayer for Today

Jesus, thank You for bringing light into my spiritual darkness. I confess that sometimes I focus on the things of this world rather than setting my sights on You. Help me to shift my focus. I want to look upon Your glory and have it transform me. In Your name I pray, Amen.

“Maybe…God is Tryin to Tell You Something !“

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The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority.”

Genesis 16:9 NLT 

I’m not a fan of the movie The Color Purple. Maybe because of the physical and mental abuse. However, there were a few songs that I will always remember, and one of them was sung by the infamous character Shug Avery while she was singing in her father’s church belting, “God is tryin’ to tell you somethin’.” Sis, it’s time for you to seek God’s power for your healing. You can’t sit in this dark place forever. It’s time to shift. It can start with that subtle feeling inside, leading you toward a path you never thought to travel. Maybe it’s the small voice that whispers in your mind to think toward a different perspective than the one you have now. Or, it could be hearing a word from God that you think isn’t possible, only to hear it confirmed over and over by others who had no knowledge of this message beforehand. When we are at a crossroad in life or just feel a stirring in our hearts for more than our present circumstances, this is usually when God might be telling us something we need to hear or do.
God calls us to seek Him daily for answers, requests and peace that comes from obedience and trust in Him. When we make it a point to follow Him, He can open up more of the plan He has in store for each of us. So, if God is telling you to do something, your willingness to surrender will activate His intervention and blessings. God will answer your prayers when the time is right. Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace. Anytime you don’t have peace in your heart about something or feel uneasiness, that’s a sign that you should stop and pray to make sure you are in line with God’s plan for your life.

Remember, His plans for you are good. He leads you by peace and fills you with His joy. Trust me, it will get better in due time. In today’s reading I don’t want you to miss this divine moment, because God is trying to tell you something right now. He is telling you to get back up, take the lead, speak up, shake the dirt off your shoes and start over again but this time with Him. Now is the right time to move with the authority and power of the Holy Spirit. Now is the time to tell the enemy you are done living this mundane life with no zeal and joy. God is trying to tell you something, you just need to pause and listen.

Prayer for Today

God, thank you for all you’ve done for me throughout my life, even while You were knitting me inside my mother’s womb. I can’t thank You enough for all You have done for me, especially in sending Your Son Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. Lord, prepare my heart to follow Your call. Help me be alert and ready for when You call me to do something, go somewhere, or to change something about myself to shine my light for You. Lead me to where You need me most and I thank you for believing and loving me. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

Excerpt from Breakthroughs and Bless YOU’s Devotional Journal

Reclaiming Back Your Calendar!

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“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.” – Psalm 90:17

My days of automatically filling up my calendar with tasks are done. A leader can’t afford to confuse activity with productivity. A leader has to prioritize and commit time to those things that make the day most productive.

That’s why I schedule white space into my calendar. My target is always to leave 20 percent of my time free. I would suggest that you fight for that same percentage.

What might that look like? You could choose to create margin every day. If you spend on average sixteen hours a day awake, creating margin means leaving three hours and twelve minutes unscheduled every day. If you wanted to think in terms of your week, you would need to leave about twenty-two and a half hours unscheduled every week. Margin by the month: leave six days totally open. By the year: seventy-two unscheduled days.

You may be saying to yourself, “I can’t do that. I can’t spare three hours a day or six days a month. And I’m definitely not taking more than seventy days off!” I think the same way. That’s why margin is so difficult to maintain….

Yet to create margin, taking essential time off is exactly what we need to learn how to do. You can’t maintain your priorities if you fill your life with busyness.

Few things give a leader as great a return as good priorities. That’s why I say they are the key to leadership.

If you’re a high-energy doer, you may find it difficult to stop, take stock of your activities, think through your priorities, and reevaluate what you do and how you do it. But you need to do it—not just once but day after day, year after year. Priorities never stay put. Yet if you can learn to master the principles of priorities and you develop the discipline of applying them continually, you will find your personal and professional effectiveness will be off the charts. 

Fearful Yet Wonderful!

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If you’re terrified, you’re on the right track. If you’re completely confident – it’s likely that you’re playing small ball. Bouts of terror, anxiety, fear, sadness, loneliness, and complete isolation are a part of the process to purpose. It’s a part of the plan. What has God said to you? What’s that thought that won’t go away? That idea, that conversation you keep having? What’s that thing that draws you? That keeps you up at night or stays in your dreams? Could it be purpose? 

Beautiful lady, God has given you the passion for a reason! It’s nagging you for a reason! Feelings of fear are so flighty- and often rooted in our insecurities. We battle with our own mistakes and count ourselves out – even when everyone is rooting for us. Don’t sacrifice what God has said for you to do, be, and have based upon someone else’s comfort level. Your measure of faith is different. You’ve got to go for it. No one will understand except the people assigned to your journey, and even they can’t do it for you. Take up your crosses, your pain, your insecurities, your fears, your failures, your bad decisions, all your “wish I would have done that differently”, and GO! 

{Say this} I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I will not allow fear to paralyze me. I heard God, and I’m going. I am willing and I am motivated. I am worth more than I’m settling for. I will go and do by the grace of God. When it gets hard, I will remember that he is with me and ahead of me. I won’t give up. 

You are God’s girl. You’re purposed for greatness, and you are worth more than rubies! Keep going. 

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